Family does not have to be blood.

To many this may be hard to comprehend, but to me this is what I have always known.

Filling Up My Mind

Today was a good day.

2hrs round-trip, 1/4 tank of gas and he did it all for me. I can be a girl and analyze this as admiration, but it makes my heart sink to know that he just sees me as a close friend.

Its a start to something good? I hope so. I want to know how it is to fall in love and I never really said this out loud. I always held my head high and put my pride first but I want to be in the comfort of a man. I want my rationality to remain intact, so I will leave it at that.

Off to the exchange of gifts, four days after Christmas. No matter how much reminders you send out there will always be someone who will disappoint you, even in the smallest gestures. You can never pester someone enough about the plans you have made because often times people flake out on you. As long as you did your part that is all that matters.

Sitting there in the room with the high school girls I had fluctuating relationships with in high school laughing was a great feeling. This winter break has shown me that even if people seem to walk out of our lives, some of them come back for a reason. Well, okay maybe not this winter break, but it was a nice reminder of that.

Then I thought about all of the things I used to do in high school...drawing, ballet, jazz and badminton. All of that I was good at, but where does all of that fit in my present life. Has maturity and "growing up" lead to the neglection of the things I love? Why did I make the choices I made? I hope I stumble upon those passions again.

'

Brooding Woman (recto), Three Children (verso)

Pablo Picasso (Spanish, 1881-1973)

Christmas is Finally Almost Over

Good night.

Human Suffering

Sometimes we leave the ones we love behind and it is out of our control.

All we can do is just let it seep down into our hearts and let it go.

Peace of Mind

To Follow Your Hearts Desire

When I see the product of my talented friends work: short films, photography, artwork, dance pieces it inspires me but then my heart sinks.

I would describe this as a feeling of regret. Then comes in rationality to block out the guilt in my mind, the constant battle in my mind and finally contemplation.